SvR06 Awards (2014)
The 2014 SvR06 Awards were the third annual awards issued to the various competitors, matches, and moments that occured throughout the year. The awards were issued on January 2, 2015. Results As the calendar turns over to a new year, we present the SvR06 Awards for 2014! Here to host this honorary event, SvR06 Hall of Famer Mike Rotch! To commence the ceremony, Patriotic Paul took to the stage to present the Hero of the People award. A hero can take many forms. For three of these men, standing in opposition to unjust powers above them could be enough to qualify. But for J-Pac, it could be stepping up to an unrelenting eliminator and slaying the beast on the grandest stage. For Dynamite Derek, sticking by his partners regardless of how tough times got. For Ben Unhinged, refusing to be degraded by an ungrateful teammate and thwarting their arrogance with assuredness. For The Rock, never stepping down when confronted with career-halting adversity by his affluent antagonist. For Big Show, literally bleeding out of every orifice simply to defend himself and others from potentially lethal forces. And for The Undertaker, looking death in the face while dragging his thumb across his throat. The award for Hero of the People goes to…The Rock! The Great One accepted his award, stating that it was only befitting that the People’s Champion be named the Hero of the People. He said that he would continue to represent the people into 2015 starting with Laugh Like Pee-wee, where he will toss 28 jabronis over the top rope. But then, because he wants to save the best for last, he’ll turn his attention to that coke-dealing candy ass Ricardo Diaz. With a Rock Bottom here and a People’s Elbow there, he’ll toss his cocaine snorting, Hawaiian shirt sporting, Mexican monkey ass over the top rope and then out of the arena! IF YA SMELL…WHAT THE ROCK…IS COOKIN’! Fittingly, the next award issued was for the Robespierre of 2014. Presenting the award was a man suitable to issue an accolade recognizing villainy, Dark Helmet. The Hall of Famer took this opportunity to announce his intention to enter the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match. The nominees truly defined themselves as heinous individuals throughout 2014. Sheamus, crashing a newly-crowned champion’s big moment and reaping the benefits of preferential treatment ever since. Brock Lesnar, battering anyone that stood in his way without remorse. Vigo the Carpathian, throwing his godly weight around by dominating and draining the strength from the world’s most powerful opponents. Nateflix, allowing his ego to destroy successful tag team comradery and writing scathing, and obviously biased, performance reviews. Reverend Drew, attempting to destroy the Justice Bros from within while under the guise of The Red Head and forming a religion that’s sole purpose seems to be holding down those outside of the church. Ricardo Diaz, refusing to come to terms with defeat to the point of obsessively sabotaging the career of his opponent. And the Robespierre award goes to…Brock Lesnar! Receiving his trophy, Brock asked Dark Helmet to reaffirm what he said about entering the Laugh Like Pee-wee match. After doing so, Lesnar told him that he just put a target right on his helmet. Just then, Vigo the Carpathian emerged from behind and attacked Dark Helmet. Lesnar and Vigo mauled the Spaceball, pummeling him with a flurry of attacks. The conquerers exited, leaving their prey motionless on the stage. Following the chaotic scene that transpired moments before, Ric Flair arrived to present the award for Biggest Title Win of the Year. These victories certainly acted as catalysts for a change in landscape, initiating a new era of SvR06. The nominees are Brock Lesnar winning the WWE Championship in the Ultimate Survivors match against four other opponents. Razor Ramon capturing the World Heavyweight Championship in a TLC match against then-champion Sheamus and Rob Van Dam. Prankster Skates, now known as Nateflix, surprising everyone by leaving the Elimination Chamber with World Heavyweight gold while dressed as RoboCop. J-Pac overcoming unthinkable odds to claim the WWE Title from Brock Lesnar in a No Holds Barred match. Prankster Ben, now known as Ben Unhinged, defeating his former tag team partner Prankster Skates to become World Heavyweight Champion in the main event of Diaz’s Fuck Fest X. And lastly, Sheamus unifying the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships in a Triple Threat bout against J-Pac and Ben Unhinged. And the gold for winning the gold goes to none other than…Nateflix! The crass critic started off by awarding Ric Flair minus five stars for his introductory skills. He accepted his award, claiming that this officially validates that he was the true Prank-star of the team. He claimed that losing the title in his first defense was hardly an issue because he’d already increased the star rating of the belt, just as he’s now doing and will continue to do with the Intercontinental Championship. Before he could present the award for “HA!” Moment of the Year, The Shockmaster crashed through the wall and into the podium. Collecting himself, he proceeded to list the nominees that made us laugh until we cried before getting up from the couch and taking our mood swing stabilizers. “Macho Man” Randy Savage, insistent on proving himself to still be main event worthy, interfering in the WWE and Word Heavyweight Championship matches after losing his Laugh Like Pee-wee qualifying bout. “Macho Man” Randy Savage, self-validating his claims to be main event worthy by eliminating half of the Elimination Chamber’s competitive field…despite not performing a single offensive maneuver. Count Out, creating chaos everywhere he went when trying to compete while blind as a bat. Chris Jericho and Mark Jindrak, demonstrating a Canadian Apology in Y2J’s match with Bret Hart much to the displeasure of Stu Hart. Winslow J. Wiley, somehow managing to score a pin over DEFAULT in a Handicap match despite not covering him. Michelle McCool and Joy Giovanni, miraculously learning how to float in the air simply for the affection of Wrestler: Unstoppable. And the award for “HA!” Moment of the Year goes to…Michelle McCool and Joy Giovanni floating! Christy Hemme accepted the award on their behalf, claiming that floating just wasn’t good enough to win over the heart of her man. She concluded by stating that it takes a redhead to know a redhead, and that his lust for her is truly unstoppable. Presenting the award for “WHAT DA HELL!” Moment of the Year, Booker T! The nominees include the most shocking moments witnessed in the year of 2014. Charles Barkley, becoming the new commissioner of SvR06 due to a previously unknown ruling. Ric Flair and Dude Love, surprising 28 others by entering the Laugh Like Pee-wee match unannounced. Walter P. Wiley, returning from the presumed dead captaining a pirate ship. The Red Head, unmasking prior to his match against Dynamite Derek to reveal that he had been Drew all along. Jimmy Hart, possessed by the vengeful soul of The Undertaker, brings Vigo the Carpathian’s undefeated streak to an end. The Wiley Family, unifying in the Meinheimer Cup Tournament to send a clear message to the entire roster. And the SvR06 Award goes to…Walter P. Wiley captaining a pirate ship! Walter accepted the award, along with brother Winslow and son DEFAULT. The Wiley patriarch, publically speaking for the first time since uniting his family, declared that they have seen the error of their ways and that it’s all for one and one for all in 2015. In 2014, SvR06’s official training ground, Arrested Developmental, opened its doors. A man who has recently spent time overseeing potential new stars, Upper Management member Kane Paul approached the podium to present the award for Arrested Developmental Rising Star of the Year. The nominees include Batista, who carried the Main Event Championship for five months and became the first-ever 2-time winner of the title. Cody Rhodes, who stepped into the spotlight by defeating three of the most powerful opponents around to become Main Event Champion. Tensai, who ended Batista’s five month long championship reign of terror. Bad Boobs Barrett, who carried the Good Hand Championship through some of the title’s most intense battles and fighting for his love of the female form. Shawn Michaels, who reinvigorated his career with a series of performances that won him the Good Hand Championship. “Just” Christian, who was the inaugural Good Hand Champion and found his self-worth in the form of fan support. And the award goes to…Batista! The defending Main Event Champion accepted yet another prize, conspicuously shaking hands with Kane Paul, and boldly stated that he will attending next year’s award show as the World Heavyweight Champion. To present the award recognizing top teamwork in 2014, the bWo took to the stage to award the trophy for Team of the Year. Nominated are Reefer Madness, Rob Van Dam and “Macho Man” Randy Savage, for putting their differences aside to become the team that would unify the WWE and World Tag Team Championships. The Church of Drewdaism, Reverend Drew & Acolytes Chance and Bradshaw, asserting the power of their church in which the most notable case was their dominant defeat of Team Shithouses in the Meinheimer Cup Tournament. The Justice Bros, Dynamite Derek, Super Sheik, and The Hurricane, for refusing to allow dark times to destroy their partnership and continuing to achieve great things throughout the year. The Ferocious Felines, Josh the Cat and Jushin Tiger, for continuing to fight for opportunities despite nothing but poor fortune. Royal Pains, assembling with a common goal to once again find gold around their waist. Upper Management, finding time out of their busy schedules at the office to obtain three championship belts and the Meinheimer Cup trophy. And the award for Team of the Year goes to…Reefer Madness! Rob Van Dam enthusiastically accepted his prize while Macho Man was a little more reluctant. When asked about his behavior, Savage made his feelings perfectly clear. As long as the two of them are opponents at Laugh Like Pee-wee with a title shot on the line, there is no Reefer Madness. To recognize the individual who stepped out of the shadows and into the spotlight of success in 2014, Holiday Hogan arrived to give the gift of the award for Breakout Star of the Year. The nominees who stepped up their game in the past year are Razor Ramon, who seized his very first World Heavyweight and Intercontinental Championships in 2014. Nateflix, who went solo for the first time in his career to capture his first World Heavyweight and Intercontinental Championships as well as appearing in his first Diaz’s Fuck Fest main event. Goldust, who reestablished himself as a serious force to be reckoned with to claim his first taste of singles gold in the form of the Intercontinental Title. Mark Jindrak, who stood up for himself against his harrying tag team partner Chris Jericho and tapped him out in a grueling Submission match. Wing, who enigmatically arrived on the scene and made a quick splash in the championship picture. Wrestler: Unstoppable, who struck out on his own after the collapse of WPW and bedded more gorgeous women than anyone on the roster. The Breakout Star of 2014 is…Wrestler: Unstoppable! The Secret Agent Man wrapped his fingers around his gold, proclaiming that he is going to break more than out in 2015. In fact, he plans on breaking 29 other opponents on January 25th when he is the last man standing in the Laugh Like Pee-wee match. Presenting the award for Match of the Year, Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Bret said that while he thought all of these matches were only so-so, he would do his best to make the nominees sound outstanding. Razor Ramon, Sheamus, and Rob Van Dam in a TLC war for the World Heavyweight Championship at Dr. Meinheimer. The Red Head, who revealed himself to be Drew, earning his first Diaz’s Fuck Fest victory over Dynamite Derek. Hogan 80s battling “Stone Cold” Steve Austin in a Last Man Standing match of epic proportions at Diaz’s Fuck Fest X. The Rock going overtime with Ricardo Diaz in a match that saw the demise of Diaz’s undefeated streak at the biggest show of the year. The Undertaker and Big Show joining forces to survive against the onslaught posed against them at The Game of Thrones. Dynamite Derek eking out an Iron Man match victory over Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title, a decision that would ultimately be overturned, at The Game of Thrones. And the Match of the Year for 2014 goes to…The Red Head vs. Dynamite Derek at Diaz’s Fuck Fest X! Reverend Drew accepted the award, saying that his first-ever Fest victory means more than a trophy could ever represent. It marks the beginning of a new age of enlightenment for SvR06. The final award issued for the evening was the Superstar of the Year award. Presented by Triple H, only one of these six nominees will be able to be named the indisputable competitor of 2014. J-Pac, outlasting five other opponents in an Elimination Chamber, used the opportunity to go to the grandest stage to take the WWE Title off of the dominant Brock Lesnar. Sheamus, capitalizing on his Money in the Bank acquisition by snatching the WWE Championship in the same night and going on to unify the title with the World Heavyweight Championship that he would hold for the remainder of the year. Dynamite Derek, assisting in dethroning long-reigning World Tag Team Champions Feel the Burn as well as proving to be a formidable adversary to Sheamus and Upper Management. Ben Unhinged, winning the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match by lastly eliminating the massive Big Show and going on to best his treacherous tag partner for the World Heavyweight Title in the main event of the biggest Fest in history. Brock Lesnar, dismantling four opponents to claim the WWE Championship and being one of the men responsible for decimating some of the top stars on the roster. Vigo the Carpathian, maintaining one of the most impressive undefeated streaks in history and, following its demise, assisting in decimating the roster’s biggest names. The Superstar of 2014 is…Dynamite Derek! Triple H, with much reluctance, handed the trophy to the man who has arguably caused him more stress throughout the past year than anyone. Dynamite promised to the fans who’ve stood behind him, to his teammates that have stood by him, and to Triple H who has stood in front of him that he will become World Heavyweight Champion again no matter what. The greats of 2014 have been recognized, and if this year’s award show is any indication, there will be a lot to look forward to in 2015.